happy day.. 090909... weekdays forever.. =)

183- A LEGEND NEVER DIES

b4 i hate that.. i was a very memorable day spent. with the wonderful gang of my life.
183. thank you. you all really made me roll down my memories back to the life of matrix.
the time where we enjoy and enjoy and enjoy only.. no worries and problem. nothing to be feared of..
just happiness, days and days .. not like life here now..
fight struggle fight struggle.. arrogance. bad attitude. IRRESPONSIBLE..
i wonder..
how would my ukm life will be..
if my housemates are 183? it would be wonderfull. wouldn't it?
we have a leader..
we have a spiritual leader..
we have a non stop working ketua perpaduan..
we got a happy go lucky joker..
we have an emo and full of fellings de ronaldo..
we have a blur manager..
i miss u all so much..

last night . was indeed one of the best time since i started 2nd yr.
life was full of thorns since we stepped back into ukm..
studies getting harder and attempting to choke me everyday with its merciless knowledge.
begging to be absorbed into my brain.. as a consequence.. no night has been filled with satisfaction.
5am.. 2am.. 7 am.. 4am.. u name it.. all weird time to wake up and sleep..
but still. it is not enough!!! stive and study.. still got the damm bad B or C approaching..
where is the A!!!!!

and then next... is the non stop activities of UKM .. persiap amsa persiap amsa.. when i was in 1st yr. i thougt that i can rest after i got enough merits . coz 2ND YR NO NEED MERIT..
and i was wrong. once again.. hurdles and more hurdles hit me in every activities..
and the stupidest thing is i cant controlled myself getting crazy or participating in activities...

and h1n1 came to hit my activites..
and my studies too..
ended up compact compiled and drowning for air and relaxation..
i gonna faint soon..

but what's next after fainting? u wake up and have to face the reality..


so finally god came blessing with all those hard work.. and finally i can meet with them again..
MY BROTHERS.... who REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT I THINK WHAT I WANT AND HOW I FEEL..

we gather at 4pm(tentatively) but as usual.. 183 SUPER DUPER LATE ON TIME struck again. and i expected it.. =) BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND THEM.. and so.. they arrive at 6pm. so narrowly miss out on hc.. our plan changed and changed. and the programmer..thj., stretched his brain till the limit... luckily he was assisted by the mature and decisice tqh.. (as usual).. and soon we managed to give hc a BIG SURPRISE and she was relly happy. can see it from her smile..

soon we proceed to setapak and have our MATRIX STYLE STEAMBOAT again.. maggi. sausages./. crabstick.. chic balls.. all cheap cheap food and unhealthy..
but this time more modern a bit. we added some delicious mouth watering food from setapak as well.... and we ate ate te ate so happily.. chat n chat.. till the wee hours of morning. 3am.
and we go suppper..
4a.m.. we go left 4 dead..
WHAT?!!!
YUP 183 is in craze of left 4 dead too..
but pity those 2 gf. they have to wait for us n felt asleep there...
till7am..
and that was a night well spent.. a night of rememberance..
i felt tired..
exhausted.. and naussea.. lack of sleep n rest..
but deep inside my heart.. i smiled.. ONE BIG SMILE.. really for my 183 friends..

i know and i accept. that now life will never be as matrix.
no bed of roses nor 183 to be with u always.. we have all our problems.. we have troublesome ppl around us.. hard to fullfil task awaiting us .. merciless studies torturing us..
but it is always those memories that drive me to move forward.. looking forward for our next gathering.. it is the best time to flex our muscle and relax..


YOU GUYS LIGHTENS UP MY LIFE. EVEN IF I HAVE TO GO EXTRA MILE FOR U.. IT WILL NEVER BE A GRUNT FROM ME AS I BELIVES.. BROTHERS HAVE NOTHING TO LOST BUT EVERYTHING TO GAIN..


thank you.. it was one of the best time i had. we strive and work hard n fight.. and struggle.. all in our own uni and place..
but we gather again after a long fight.. this are what brothers for..
and those far apart.. the spirits always burn..

183.. A LEGEND NEVER DIES

i don like this... pls be responsible

friend

as the dawn approching, i felt a sense a vivid feeling that struck me all of a sudden, from nowhere...



night really brings us into the mood.. especially late nights..

read something somewhere.. and something out of nowhere appeared in my heart..



i felt.. that i'm lucky..



that is the word. lucky..

lucky to have you all beside me..

all these while..

striding through the patchy road in front of me.

climbing hills passing ravine..



try think of a situation..

you and your friend go out to a place to play.

a group of friend i mean..

and then. half of you went to a place..

the other half go to another place..

then all of you will meet in a restaurant for dinner...



so.. some will go there 1st definitely.. some will be late..

how about this...



a ask b to go there 1st to book the placa and sit there wait.. if not scare no place d...

then b says ok.. then a go enjoy himself.. themselves i mean..



then b wait.. wait.. wait.. wait.





clock ticks.. they waited..





























and waited..





























and waited..

























1 hour gone..































1 hour and 7 minutes gone.





















ok.. here is the question. if you are b .. what will you think and how is your reaction?



(a) angry, scold them

(b) angry but keep it.. keep quiet.

(c) ok with it but critisice them..

(d) ok with it but shoot them..









ya.. most ppl think d is the best answer..





but guess what happened...



























a reached.. apologize profusely..... b reaction was...





























nvm nvm.. I SCARE THEY ASK US TO LEAVE ONLY...



u know what it means?

b does not say..nvm nvm.... BUT I FEEL VERY AWKWARD LO.. SIT HERE SO LONG EVERYBODY LOOKING AT ME..



instead.. b just scare HE HAS TO LEAVE..



which means a cannot eat there..







great people speak greatly..


true friends speak for u...



thank you .. my friend..





p/s : next time try sing k la.. fun n crazy.

exam approaching..
ppl change like weather..
hot n cold..
gd luck everyone..
=)
be happy ya..

I WANT A CAR

I WANT A CAR..


WOW OF THE DAY= I WANT A CAR!!


a good day came to an end with this..

became a wet chicken..

running down the street of kl..

no.. actually is lanyeng swirl down the streets of kl..

all wet.. I WANT A CAR.

and yesterday. ended up ALMOST have to walk back from fac to vistana again..

numerous times..

walking walkin walking..

even have to walk from ktsn to vistana..

at night..

i don want to get donation pls..

!!!!

i want a car..

lost in a sea of.....

as i gaze through the blazing blue sky...
i start wondering..
who am i..
what is my purpose in life..
i mean.. not i think i;m useless.
is what is my target..
days gone ..
i seemed to be deviating away from my principle..
my target.. my dreams..
the never say die commitment which once i say aloud everywhere..
i do not know what it is now..
i tried my best..
i pick myself up..
but it seemes like i am running away from my dreams..
not concept.. my principle.. my perception...
getting hatred..
getting jealous..
getting kia su...
i know ..
know deeply ..
that i'm changing..
into a creature i never want to...
why am i here..?
what is my target in life..?
life in ukm of course..
fight fight fight..
but ironically..
i'm not fighting for knowledge..
why...
lost..
lost in my own sea of dread.. and greed..

thj.. you are lost..

searching petals and threes...

dusk approaching ..
and it comes again..
out from no where..
suddenly he felt emo again..
surely..
there is something..
but he can't find the cause..
he feels sleepy..
he feels kind of emo..

flashing back the years behind him..
there laid a wonderful story..
a full told story.
a fairytale..
or i would say..
a dream...

long has the dream gone..
and he has awaken for years..
and yet..
he still never forget the ever wonderfull dreams..

yes.. many think he is enjoying life now..
doing what he wants..
being with who he wants..
having everything he should have...

and yet...
noone knows.
deep inside...
he still can't erase it..
the momories...

tired.. he is tired..
just let it be..
let it go..
whatever..
drifting away from himself..
he is a walking shadow.
a corpse without a soul..
where is his soul..


here is a strange place to him..
a stranger.. deserted in a wide coast..
coast to coast...
searching his soul..
meeting numerous devils...
but noone has the same feelings...
same ideology...
same petals of flowers..

where are those petals..
where are those threes...
where are those laughter..
where are those dreams...

a place he missed..
is a place..






where they shout aloud...
yong bu yan bai..

friendship- never dies..

days slided through
months glided away
years passed by...
and so on..

together...
we grew up..
learning the knowledge of life..
plodding through our hasty life..
slipping through days after days...
from the tender age...
till the ripen maturity ...

from the voice of immature crackling of a young boy..
till the coarse voice of the grown up young man..
we spent many times together..
ups and downs..
sweets and sours...
HAPPYness and sadness...
anger and despair..
dejection and disappointment..

from 153cm-183cm..
we grown up together..
picking up the threads of life...
going through the growing stage of our tender years....

youth 7 we joined..
one society.. one dream...
1A1 2c1 3c1 4s1 5s1...
we spent everytime together...

from tuition classes to society chores...
walking to tuition under the blazing sun..
singing in class ...
shouting command on weekends..
going to camps..
organizing activities..
scoring GOALS....
shouting JI JI.. HAN HAN.. XIAN XIAN....
gossipping together...
who is good who is bad..

from raphael gonzalez jacquez ...
till the formation of ronaldinho henry beckham...
the three greats of youth 7...
creating album.. planning programme...
scoring A's together...

soon lovebuds struck us ...
and we blossomed into loving birds..
each having our own pair...
and together...
we done many stupid things..
hiding and fearing...
soon... fate took a huge twist on us..
and we too remained bachelor.. for some time...
together..
we went through the deepest moment of life..
agony.. despair... grief...

so we go on...
we keep growing..
and distance also started to grow..
soon we parted ways...
3 main roads to uni..
all conqured by us..
unfortunately..
we have to pay....
utp matrix f6....
3 roads.. 1 dream...

to pursue further studies..
we sacrified alot..
our best time together are long but gone
embedded deep in our memories...

however...
we still took the best of our time..
to gather..
and enjoy every moment..
till the latest episode of our life..
HAPPY.. really HAPPY for the period of time..
a huge break from the frantic schedule of medial life....

and now...
it is time..
that we part ways again..
distance are much further..
than any we once had..
HAPPY may just be our final memory...
though you may pass by me tonight...
and tomorrow you'll be far apart..
we will be far apart..
in this world...
pursuing our dreams...

though heavy hearted,
it is inevitable...
the day has come...
upon us...
we predicted this from the beginning...
now we are just facing it..
it's just years of stong bond and feelings..
that i shed tears..

the best of our memories..
from young till today...
shall notbe erased..
till the last breath of my life..
and those HAPPY times together..

i do believe..
one day ..
one place..
one time...
we shall meet again..

may luck fall upon you..
and all the best..
4 zhi..
yong bu yan bai..!!
henry beckham ronaldinho....
HAPPY always...

oh my god... a busy busy month ahead.. really busy....

get through it...
yong bu yan bai

AMSEP INDONESIA !!

A BUSY WEEK IS COMING..
indonesia is coming...
rain is coming...
amsep indonesia... finally you're here..
after weeks and weeks of preparation..
days and days of suffering..
so much obstacles..
so many problems..
drawback after drawback..
setback following setback...
now it is the time..
OUR TIME..
AMSEP UKM
this is our time to shine d..
many of us are down..
but not out..
many are taunted by the merciless virus..
but we shall prevail..

to those who has fallen..
be strong and climb up fast..
to those who are stricken by virus...
you can conquer it..
we have strong immune system..
to those who had injured themselves..
get well soon and have enough rest..

to everyone...
be in top form and all the best for our amsep activity!!

good luck... =)

cough cough...
cough cough..
ah chiu... chiu.. ngiok ngiok..
couhg.
cough.... cough...
oh my god.. whole house coughing.. like a trend now.. new fashion..
even setapak them are following this new trend..
cough cough cough couhg..
soon to have one week break.. hehe..
cough xouhg.
couihg.. cough////
pain throat.. cough.. fever..
help us..!!
HELP WE NEED...

found a correlation between weather and emotion and health...
haze. bad weather leads to bad mood and bad health.
sick.. grief.. haze...
no scenery.. no smiles.. no health..
so..
pls return to normal weather..
thanks god`

a series of unfortunate events.

yup.. it is almost the end of the week. and this is the time to reflect.
reflect what you'd done and what has happen in this whole week.
just as in PPD.
well. this is certainly a week to forget. as my title sounds. really many mishaps occurred.
1st. it started with the great sick of jacquez..
from hypersensitivity to stomach ache to diarrhea ..
next, my lucky stars seemed to be covered by the haze of kl skyline.
as i no longer can gaze through the sky anymore..
it is so hazy.. and dusty. cough cough..
unfortunes really fallen in love with me for this whole week..
my gf fall asick.. quite severe.. went doc twice.. my housemate too.. went doc..
then, everything i planned turned out to be at wrong ends..
birthday party totally out of planned and wrong timing..
buddy aghast for my lack of time for him.. and always ignoring him..
csl doc give my group a huge bang for our inexperience and misbehave.
the one and only light in my toilet burnt and i can't use my toilet anymore,
usually at nights where i am in great need of micturation
my roommate got irritated by YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS..
my close pal seemed to have troubles yet i've no chance to talk to her..
the bookshelf i wanna buy is sold out..
no time to spend at home with housemate bcoz of activities...
the sky so dirty and hazy that i can't gaze through it anymore.
and i repeat..
I CAN'T GAZE THROUGH MY FAVOURITE SKY ANYMORE!!
haiz.. such a miserable week..
everything was upside down..

yet. there are some pro's beneath all the gloom traumatising me..
her condition is getting better and i hope she'll get well soon..
the party turned out to be a success at the end.. thou it was a bit late..
i'm still in good mood despite all the dampening situations..
.... .... ....
that's it. what else..
recently many ppl are emo. can see some in lecture hall today.. some from the whole week . some on thurs only especially girls.. some at home..

many ppl get sick too as virus are concuring mankind ,leaping to a greater step day after day.
hopefully, everyone can be strong..
this is a tough period. hard stage..
i hope that everyone . everyone can be strong..
preserve though this unexpected stage of 1st module only of 2nd yr..

the sick can get well. the moody can put their smiles back.. the agonies can be strong..

there is always a saying.. and this time is for everyone..

yong bu yan bai !!

distance has separate us apart..
words are getting scarce...
laughter has long gone..
miss those good old days...

stress has conquered us..
anguish and agony...
both took full control..
like a strong batallion of army

so little is what we had done in the past..
so much is what we haven't done in the future...

unfulfilled destiny...
undone promise...

challenges seemed tougher..
obstacles looked higher...
a mountain we need to climb..
yet...
many more valleys waiting to be crossed...

only the tough one will succeed.
but who is the tough one..?

monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday..
everyday is such a tough nut to crack...

standing seemed to be a hard option now..
as the fallen is coming to take revenge..

no more crackling laughter among us..
no more sweet voices uttered out..


appealing to be heard..
is the voices of my heart..

went to see doc today..

doc said no big deal..
but i think is a big deal..
still pain..
die..
agonizing pain..
oh my god..
what is happening with my stomach...
diagnosis??
hope omeprazole can help me..
this is what the doc said..

sicking weekend

stomachache

i've stomachache
everyday..
diarrhoea..
everyday..
incubation period one or 3 days
then pain again..
is it menorrhagia?

tak tau..
diarrhea everyday also.
bi li pe le bi li pe li..
shit!!!
just like a shit..
going to die if persist like this.

yesterday went hkl..
allergy.. rash whole body..
injection..

sick sick sick..
sicking weekends

redefine yourself..

sometimes i wonder. what should i do what should'n i?
it seems nothing can be perfect.. but human always aim for perfectionalism
when there is a will there is a way..
but it seems..
way too hard..
way too much..
and you'll eng up jeopardising yourself..
once i wondered..
is it too much.,.
or too little...
it is better ..
to do nothing..
nothing than everything,..
as..
the more you do..
the worse it is...
it is indeed...
you creat problems for yourself..
friendship..
mayb is just a tool...
in life..
to plod on...
and no wonder..
it is so hard to find true..
and to be true..
even if you strive..
you may end up being
the wrong person...
better done nothing..
as nothing means excellent..

wrong is normal..
but it seemed i made too much of it..
till forgiven is no longer a choice..

only way..
is to keep silent..
hide yourself..
and end your role..
no more trips
no more party
no more celebration..
no more gathering..

just focous on your activities..
finished it.
and stop taking responsibility..
you;'re not a natural leader
not a natural great hero..

go hide in your room and study...
DON repeat your failure in 1st yr,.
or you'll never stand up again..
i wonder..
if i'm the inactive type...
what will i be now...

if i don't go the extra mile..
if i don care for anything..
if i just remain silent..
if i hide myself in others shadow..
from the beginning..

maybe..
i'll be a better friend..

to the 7 of you...


=(

as i gaze through the pitch black skyline of kuala lumpur, i can feel somehing is different. yup. indeed. staying in a new place with numerous characters of housemates is indeed something i'd never experienced before. as soon as i first stepped into my new house, 'vistana' nothing except a full inch of dust appear in my eyes. sorrow struck my spine and fear took full controll of me when i 1st caught the sight of my "new" home.. well.. then come the war.

war against the dust and dirt. we clean and clean and clean pack and pack and pack.. 48 hours.. it took us almost a full 48 hours, 7 strength of weak and weary soul fresh from holidays to just clean this small and miserable house. well. it turned out to be something fruitful..

things went as i planned. washing machine, fridge, wireless.. everything was set up and done as soon as we glide through the 4th day of life in vistana. new fridge new washing machine. wow. indeed an incredible experience..

then, summer always does not last long. suddenly, 7.2 magnitude large earthquake rocked vistana, making 7 of us scrambling madly for breath and life. losing hope and options, we do everything we can but to no avail. hoping against hope, everyone was trying badly to curb the catastrophe. unexpected one.. nope. i think it is expected.. as the cool and suave dark guy just stood aside and watch this scenario like watching a movie in IMAX..

the earthquake subsequently subside and soon things change. skies start to clear and sunlight is shining again.. in the darknesss of KL nightline, the gimmer of KLCC can be seen, shining through the darkness of eerieness. proving she is not fear of anything surounding her. not even fear. the fear of loneliness.

life. indeed is a roller coaster ride, a ride never ends.. till you breathe your last. the choice is in your hands. you had made yours. and regret is not a way to torture yourself. since you'd chosen the road not taken, be strong and bear through all obstacles that stumbles upon you. deep inside yourself.. you'd not changed at all. you are still the same old jacquez. as strong as you might see yourself. find back your true self. your personality.. everyone has high hopes on you. and you know who you are.. nevery say die and never allow defeat to take advantage of your soul..

it is a path of life. this is your path of life.. your destiny. yourself. maybe you are far apart from what you want and everything that you think may bring happiness to you, but there is always a silver lining in the clouds. rainy days will pass soon and blazing sun is coming to burn your soul.

prevail my dear friend.. you're who you are. there is always a saying..


yong bu yan bai. .

going back in few hours time. and i love everything about ipoh.. just everything. thank you very much. will miss here .. friends and food and family.. good luck everyone.. have a great 2 month break.. happy time. roller coaster drive at night and crazy swimming lesson plus scrumptious food.. fantastic movie and great steamboat .. durians. trips and holidays..all the best thing i'd in 2 months time.. looking forward again. roaring loud and coming back to class..
^^

time moves fast. as soon as we just blinked our eyes.. 2 months have gone. indeed it was so fast that i barely able to recapture what had i done for the past weeks. 2 months gone and we are going back. back to where we stride our 1st step in uni life.
one year gone and the 2nd yr is anticipating us.. it is reality that it'll be much tougher than the first.
then. all of a sudden.. they came across my mind.. as the going gets tough.. the tough gets going. will i be tough enough? will we be tough enough? how many of us will win the merciless battle this time? by hook or by crook... we must win. as the future is laid there. just a few footsteps away..
new life.. new hope .. new determination..
it's time.. revenge of the fallen..
haha..

time moves fast.. as fast as adrenaline surged through one's blood when he is on the verge of death.. and suddenly..
i hate it. disconnected again..
arghh..!! what a bad connection i have here.. streamx useless...

grief
pain
sorrow
hurt
all hit like a hard rock
on this fragile soul
once again..
it breaks into pieces..
one year wasted
nothing done
nothing gain..
a grass by the roadside
sigh..
life's meaningless
efforts splashed..
agony soared..
speechless
it's time to give up..
wondering..
what will happen next
YOU ARE JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH !!!
ADMIT IT !!
YOU are not brilliant !!
you are not great !!
you are not anybody !!
nobody..

shame and guilt..
it all filled you up now..
how can this happen to you..
a year on..
and..
what had u acheive..?
nothing
nothing at all..
do you know..
365 days are a huge amount of time spent.
and yet..
you gain nothing..
except..
pavillion..
time square..
bkt bintang..
petaling street..
sunway..
malacca..
genting..
and lots of money wasted..
u are such a useless pick of dead wood..
your presence does not have any meaning..
and you failed everything..
your parents..
your family..
your friends..
you are no longer yourself
or you are not yourself either..
hide yourself ..
in your past shadow..
keep yourself..
in the darkness of grief..
you owe everyboday an explaination..
you are such a disgust..
such a shame..
don ever show your face..
don ever shown up yourself..
you are useless..
you are nothing..
you are a rotten dead meat..
thj..

empty..
i started wondering.
whether i'm who i am.
i still could not find my lost self.
and i don't know how.
so many years on,
i am still searching for it.
and i can't.
and find the very pertinent element
and it seemed that it has to be eternal.
i doubt myself..
i hate myself..

life..
seemed to be cruel
to mankind..

reality
seemed to be harsh
to me..

whatever..
i lost my words..
i lost myself..

i surrender..
i give up...

close fail..
end case..
the end..

i don't know what else to utter..
disgust disgrace...
i hate it..

何谓义气？义气就是当人类在面临困难时，有紧急的时候，愿意伸出援手的人类。需强调的—是人类，万物之灵的人类。头脑比其他动物发达，会想，会分析事物的人类。

往往，在这无情的世界里，人类总是学会了一句成语，人不为己，天诛地灭。咳，为何在这妙手仁心的环境中，人类也会那么的无情，冷血？现实，不守信用，出尔反尔，一切一切人类丑陋的一面都显现出来。

原 来，患难见真情是对的。在困难中，你才会找到真正的朋友，真心的朋友。那些所谓什么上刀山下油锅的死党，生死之交，都是废话一大堆。大难领头，大家只会各 自飞，那管你整样。更何况，现在都不是什么大难，只是有好处而已，就有福自享，大难陷害你。这种那么没有道德的事情，竟然在以后未来救人族的党派里出 现？！！ 哈哈，好可爱的一群妙手仁心，以后还想拯救世界，散播爱情，造福人群。荒聊，一切都是荒聊！也许我没有资格去批评什么什么人，所以，我是在骂自己。

突然间，看透了人类很多狠毒的心态，很多不好的念头。人之初性本善。随着经验，学习，人类开始泛滥了。难得的是，有义气的人类原来还未绝种。很欣赏，很欣赏你们，可以在患难中，竟然还顾虑朋友的心情，朋友的一切一切。你们果然是一等一的好人。

Ish.. hard to write in mandarin. Long time didn’t write in mandarin but really can’t contain myself anymore. Time is a scarcity yet I really want to find some time out here to lash out on those people. Really can’t understand. Why people can be so selfish so stingy? If you done something that does not bring harm to others but bring benefits to you, it’s ok as humans always reserve the best for their own(except our parents) . but if u done something that bring severe damage to others just to give yourself some benefits. This is unacceptable, unthinkable unforgivable. Because of what you had done, people become homeless, thousands of ringgits thrown away, given to the wrong people, just like you go to sea and dump 20 RM50 into the sea. How can u done that?

Humans are really evil soul. Mean soul everywhere. Pls beware when u mix around. CHOOSE THE RIGHT FRIEND. use your heart to see people, not eyes. Fortunately I found and thanks god u guys are the rightful friend that truly value what friendship are and what brotherhood is. congrets to those who rathere give up a better place to stay just to remain with friends, to remain in a gang in a group. Thankn you . you guys really save what little dignity that mankind almost lost it. and those who unmoved by better offers coming around, you too preserve the sincerity of friendship and salvage the names of medic student.

here is a scenario. let's say your fees per month is rm200. u paid 3 months deposit + one month extra to break contract, that is 800, then electric deposit.rm100.u stay in kt one year is rm900 (one sem rm450). kt bus transport one year is 100. then if u stay kt, u save rm200 per month. one year is 2200 plus electric + water rm 200 per year. so income is 2200. out come is 1900.
so the profit is rm 300.. rm 300 is saved for what u had done but u lost everything else. u lost ur credibility, u lost ur friendship, u lost u dignity , you lost u pride, u lost yourself..

CONGRATULATIONS..



5 years, 5 more years to come, there is a long way to go… if u had already started making enemy in the 1st year, life will be thoroughly hard on the upcoming years. And if you had spoilt your name and dump your credibility into rubbish bin so early on, it is incontrovertible that you will find hard to get something. Something that is most valuable. Even more valuable that 4.0 in exam. What I called friendship.. greatful to have weekdays and others that treat me as one of your friends =)
Thou I’m totally unscattered in this HOME storm as my housemate has no problem, I deeply sympathize those who had much suffer this few days. Those tears shed, those heart ripped, those friendship broken and lost.. I wish that u guys can stand up strong and there is always a sunny day after a storm.. good luck in your finals and all the best.. !!


A person who cares, who hopes for peace

人类

何谓义气？义气就是当人类在面临困难时，有紧急的时候，愿意伸出援手的人类。需强调的—是人类，万物之灵的人类。头脑比其他动物发达，会想，会分析事物的人类。

往往，在这无情的世界里，人类总是学会了一句成语，人不为己，天诛地灭。咳，为何在这妙手仁心的环境中，人类也会那么的无情，冷血？现实，不守信用，出尔反尔，一切一切人类丑陋的一面都显现出来。

原来，患难见真情是对的。在困难中，你才会找到真正的朋友，真心的朋友。那些所谓什么上刀山下油锅的死党，生死之交，都是废话一大堆。大难领头，大家只会各自飞，那管你整样。更何况，现在都不是什么大难，只是有好处而已，就有福自享，大难陷害你。这种那么没有道德的事情，竟然在以后未来救人族的党派里出现？！！ 哈哈，好可爱的一群妙手仁心，以后还想拯救世界，散播爱情，造福人群。荒聊，一切都是荒聊！也许我没有资格去批评什么什么人，所以，我是在骂自己。

突然间，看透了人类很多狠毒的心态，很多不好的念头。人之初性本善。随着经验，学习，人类开始泛滥了。难得的是，有义气的人类原来还未绝种。很欣赏，很欣赏你们，可以在患难中，竟然还顾虑朋友的心情，朋友的一切一切。你们果然是一等一的好人。

Ish.. hard to write in mandarin. Long time didn’t write in mandarin but really can’t contain myself anymore. Time is a scarcity yet I really want to find some time out here to lash out on those people. Really can’t understand. Why people can be so selfish so stingy? If you done something that does not bring harm to others but bring benefits to you, it’s ok as humans always reserve the best for their own(except our parents) . but if u done something that bring severe damage to others just to give yourself some benefits. This is unacceptable, unthinkable unforgivable. Because of what you had done, people become homeless, thousands of ringgits thrown away, given to the wrong people, just like you go to sea and dump 20 RM50 into the sea. How can u done that?

Humans are really evil soul. Mean soul everywhere. Pls beware when u mix around. CHOOSE THE RIGHT FRIEND. use your heart to see people, not eyes. Fortunately I found and thanks god u guys are the rightful friend that truly value what friendship are and what brotherhood is. congrets to those who rathere give up a better place to stay just to remain with friends, to remain in a gang in a group. Thankn you . you guys really save what little dignity that mankind almost lost it. and those who unmoved by better offers coming around, you too preserve the sincerity of friendship and salvage the names of medic student.


5 years, 5 more years to come, there is a long way to go… if u had already started making enemy in the 1st year, life will be thoroughly hard on the upcoming years. And if you had spoilt your name and dump your credibility into rubbish bin so early on, it is incontrovertible that you will find hard to get something. Something that is most valuable. Even more valuable that 4.0 in exam. What I called friendship.. greatful to have weekdays and others that treat me as one of your friends =)
Thou I’m totally unscattered in this HOME storm as my housemate has no problem, I deeply sympathize those who had much suffer this few days. Those tears shed, those heart ripped, those friendship broken and lost.. I wish that u guys can stand up strong and there is always a sunny day after a storm.. good luck in your finals and all the best.. !!


A person who cares, who hopes for peace

i have a dream

many years ago, there was a great hero in the west. in the country christopher columbes found. in a great land. D418. that was the time when the hj were badly oppressed by siang.. because the ppl of siang think that they owe the room and hj should not stay in that land. hj do not have much opportunity. in every part of life, politics, economy, social or whatever. they are oppressed and not being given same rights as siang. but then stood one great leader, he said. i have a dream. and his dream was to unite hj and siang. that time, his quote was taken as a joke and noone believe him. everyone think that he is joking and talking nonsence. much much many years later, when man can conquer the space, rise one great leader. he proved that change is what everyone can do. he is the 1st hj ppl to be the leader of room d418. that proved the great leader's word right !! though it took many years to fullfill.it happened indeed. change we can. here came a dream of a simple guy, wishing to unite greats of same kingdom. we as the descendants of the dragon should not have any sore feelings and anguish amongst each other. the birth of a dragon should be celebrated by all phoenix, not those from the same kingdom only.. as the main person of the day is the dragon not the phoenix.no matter how deep is the rivalry between the phoenix, they will also unite in that day just to celebrate the great day of the dragon.as what they hope is the best moments for the dragon..here, one of the descendant of the dragons, too have a dream.. a dream that all blood will flow together in a stream forming a great river that unite to transform into a stong waterfall that will swipe away all rivalry and dark history.. sincerity shall prevail.. united. we can make a difference.

lost in a battle

I’ve tried to keep my feelings but I really can’t.
Twice I tried to keep it to myself, not wanting to affect others feelings
But sorry.
I can’t
I’ve to lash it out somewhere..
I tried to go to bed
To sleep
To forget this problem
But I can’t
And here I was
Awake again
Shedding tears again
2nd time of the night
I do not know why
But really quite emo
Tonight
Tried to contain myself
Failed again
Just like what I did in my exam
Tension arised.
I know
Everyone is feeling the same
I just lack of that important thing
The thing that can build my confidence n optimistic.
Kept on thinkin of the negative part.
Really.
It caught me.
Stress. Here u are
U won
I admit.
U WON!!
I lost.
I am succumbed to stress
Every night I slept
With guilty of not finishing my studies
But I;m exhausted. I’m tired.
I cant. The same old problem arised.
My roommate is too great. He is giving me pressure . indeed
I kno he didn’t mean it. and I tried to ignore it..
But I FAILED.
I know many of u will falter also if u r in the same situation.
Every night.. if u sleep much earlier than him.. and every day spent less time studying than him,..
Will u think what u studied is enough?
Will u think what u covered is complete?
Will u think u r ready for exam?
I’ve been trying.
But really every tired. Gonna give up soon..
Every night still awake by 2or even 3am..
But there r ppl sleeping late at 4 or 5am..
Will u think u r well enough>
It is not the matter of comparing with other ppl
Is the matter of whether u can go through yourself of not feeling guilty.
Of feeling ready even thou u study much less.
I don’t know.
Sorry.
My mood is bad,,
Lash it out on u..
Sorry sorry..
My fault.
Sigh..
academic pressure surely gain the edge over me now..
lost in a great battle..
less than 4 weeks
4 modules.
4 once n 4 all
some more so many haiz.. dunno how to say..
arghh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
calm down..... fu fu fu fu...
i'm fine.

It’s another gloomy night as my close friend came visiting me again. I do now know why it is so often recently. It’s a hatrick scored by him.3 days in a roll.

haiz.. this word kept on come out from my mouth.

how? i do not know..

emotions are high.. have to controll myself.

can't..

just lash out here.. don care..

Life has certainly been full of thorns recently . admit it. I’m certainly not enjoying my life now. Hate it. everything I planned ended up in a mess. Fine. No more planning. Sometimes really think that I’m stupid. Felt tired. Exhausted. Don’t want to live in a life of everybody. Wanna live in a life of my own. Don’t want to care others. Stop all those planning to make a group clicks. Stop all those thinking to wrap up your friend. Stop everything to seal friendship. No one appreciate it.. NOONE.. stop wasting time. Redang trip for all chiness? What a great joke. Wasting of your time. Phone bill and effort and also money. Just go home and be with your parents. That will be more appreciative. And rightful too..183 trip during our holiday?? Well may work but you’ve lost your zeal to plan anything, let it be.. a weekdays trip during holiday? Enough.. no one is agreeing with your idea. No need to do extra mile. What comes on goes on. And leaves too.. activity activity activity non stop working. Do you think you are a robot? !! stop it !!

If you keep on like this. Definitely you’ll fail your exam. Enough thj.. no more bull shitting. Concentrate on studies. Put everything aside… work for yourself. No more care for others.

how you fare your formative? you know it. you know how you do it. worse than anything

how many questions you do not know ?

you may not want to unveil it. you hv lost it certainly.

lost your brilliance.. are you going in for exam or colouring..?

go back to kindergarten.

you can colour better at that time.

a shadow walking amongst the shallow lake..

thinking you may drown yourself but end up creating a joke of yourself..

angry of many things.. if only i can be emotionless.. no need care so many things.

live one day happy one day save one day.. can we do it?

such irony..

think of yourself. care for your own.. friendship relationship? forget it..

How long can something last?

I wonder

I wonder how

I wonder why

Life is so special

Life is so complicated

Minds are so complex

Human are so typical

Things are so strange

Everything so weird

the more u think
the worse u get
pessimist or optimist
u can choose
but u chose the road not taken
why


why
why?

why must you be like this?

don't you think it is a bit over.?
you fight for it

and now you let it go..
too free is it?

whole year

one whole year

almost 365 days..
relentlessly you fight

fight
fight
fight
fight
struggle

struggle

struggle

struggle

struggle
and now you get it..

so many merits..
but you give up..
aduh...

really like..
a fool
brainless
BL..

enough
try to be clever
try to have motive
can u?
stop doing wasteful things
stop wasting energy
you re going to be anergy

thj.. stand up
speak out
live ur spirits
where is yong bu yan bai..
it is there
inside your heart
come on..
go go go
show ur power
live ur words
spread ur enthusiasm

prove to me you still have the spirit
the spirit..
once took u so high..
i know..
u still have what it takes

to be what you want...

SIEN AH !!!!
very very sien
lost of form
lost of determination
lost of yong bu yan bai
yong bai bu yan
haiz haiz haiz..
siensiesn sien

vistana or kt?
cyin, siang, or kt hc ali?
nice food or malay food?
no personal space or got single room?
share room or personal space?
gym swinning pool or football jogging?
monorail or bus?
shoppings n funs or studies n confined?
waste money or save money?
sick got ppl care or sick till dead?
studies can ask siang or self study?
no friends vs no friend.?
more entertaintainment vs less entertainment?
less study time vs more study time?
less activity vs more activity?
safe vs dangerous?
high risk of pregnancy vs no risk?


HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW??????????
FAN FAN FAN FAN
GO DIE LA THJ... USELESS

HOME
IS INDEED THE BEST
BEST PLACE
for everything
to relax
to enjoy
to rejuvenate
i love my home..
thanks..

gazing at the sky once again

As i gaze through the pitch dark sky of the night in KL, i realize something.. it has been a long time since i last do this.. and my friends maybe will notice, many months had passed since i started my blog with this type of phrase.
The reason i 1st started to write blog is to spill my feelings out and to reduce the grief inside myself, and now. It seemed that i need to write again for this purpose. Luck is very fair to everybody, so do happiness and agony. Long has it be since agony last came visiting my soul, and the colonization of happiness in my cardiac muscle had given me much wonderful experience is my past months.
Really get upset with things recently, was trying hard to cover it up.. but as u cover more, the more it’ll be exposed. The stronger to try to hide it, the tougher you feel. I’m very tired , very tension and stressed out.. enough of everything that is happening beside me.
Gone are the days where i like to spill out my feelings to everyone beside me. Now, it seemed hard to share my soul with people. Becoming more passive and pessimist, it is certainly not a good sign as a fragile soul cannot sustain much tension and stress. There is always a limit to everyone.
I’ve many things want to voice out but I cannot said it out here because I know once I’d lashed it out it will be game over for everything. What I can do now is bear with it and do my best to maintain what I have now.. problems arising from family, friendship, society , organization.
Everything is so much, everything is different from before. Day in day out. Things changes, feelings ripen and fade off. It is inevitable that many things are not eternal. I wanted to said out how I feel but I can’t. I do not want to hurt feelings and do not want to jeopardize things further.
Life is fragile. People get old easily and heath become a tantalizing issue soon. Age soon will ripe us out of everything we have. The glory, the power, the strength, the demure. Envy is also a force that come calling us to the ravine of hatred, anger and frustration. I do now want it to end like this.. IT..
Tears is a good helping secretion from human body that can help us reduce agony n grief. But even now, I found out that I’d lost it. I’d lost grip on many things that once become the stronghold of mine. It is so loose. Everything changes so fast.. even my tears.. I’ve lost the power to control it. the power to spill it out from my eyes when I’m in grief.. I can no longer control things around me.. it is so abstract.. it is going to go soon. It is going to fade soon.. it will be leaving me soon..
What is it? only my heart can tells..

well spent day

wow.. today is incredible great. done many great things..
1st of all.. fashion show.. with a chinese traditional outfit and a great pose... haha.. awesome..
next.. went for HM class for the 1st time in my 2nd sem
incredible huh? got caught for ponteng twice.. if one more time then cannot take exam d..
next. went to market 4 my 1st meal of the day at 2.30pm..
wow.. it is so late i know and my stomach almost groaning in unbearable pain.. however.. did a great deed today.. as the zap fan auntie is closing her shop.. there are many dishes left..
she said she will throw it away,..
being EMPATHIC and PRETENDING to be kind..
bought alot of food from her.. so not to waste the dishes..haha..
end up.. getting around inviting ppl to hv dinner with me..
BUT !! NOONE... noone wants to join.. so ....
end up eating it with my friends who bought the dish with me..
wow.. it is scrumptious.. mouth watering.. so delicious.. i like it..
have the warmth of home.. so nice..
then.. the best part came.. someone suggested to go macd 4 dessert..
and boom..
bumped into alex's car n got there.. 6 of us went..
take ice cream.. n a cup .. A CUP i mean .... A CUP of coke..
gulp gul[p gulp... drank so fast n REFILL REFILL REFILL.... haha...
end up so fullz....


haiz... so much things to study ...
almost lost in the race to the finish line.. i can be the last one.. but i cannot accept to be left out of the race,, HELP !!!

emotional..

Suddenly feel no mood to do anything.. and realized that I’ve a blog.. so.. a strong feeling suddenly push me to write for a blog amidst this hectic and busy week. Very very busy recently.. till I do not have time for myself. And my books as well. Bogged down with several assignments and presentation, I really started to feel choke and gasping for help. Titas.. medicine and society presentation coming after ppd presentation, associated with several mega projects such as 4kl, amsep, east amsc, water carnival.. I can really feel the burden hitting me harder and harder. Almost fallen down and collapse.. well.. I’d collapsed today.. went straight back after class without having lunch.. slept for whole afternoon from 12 smth till 6.. really tired.. exhausting..
All of a sudden… I miss my family.. miss my friends back home.. recently keep on have reflection of my past.. matrix spm life… weird… it has long past.. but keep on thinking of it..
Wanted to go home badly… need to take a break from everything.. really burnt out..
Studies have long been left out of my timetable.. and my list of to be done everyday..when only can I start my studies? As a result, my formative… haiz.. fare badly in my formative as my counterparts all did very well.. really.. could not find time for myself…
Miss my home.. home sweet home…

getting emotional than ever for this year now.. tears will never be shed easily..