life.. what is the meaning of life? just 4 weeks into my uni life.. i'm getting enough of it.. getting burned out.. getting tired and motionless.. i wanna give up.. give up every hope i've now. once. i told everyone b4 that my dream was to give hope to ppl. but now i've lost hope.. i'm really stressfull and all tensed up.. i can't take it anymore.. being a director for 2 drama and also the main actor in the same 2 drama? what am i? do i think i'm so great? no .. NEVER!! i'm jus a useless dump.. i can't take it anymore.. friends? what is it..? never even care of your feelings b4.. empathy? no.. it never appear in my life here.. where are u? where is friendship? what is the value of it? no matter how hard u tried.. how good u treat ppl.. they wil never change their perception towards u.. either they will say jia jia si.. or qu shi la.. or say u r a great pretender... does anyone really feel what is done? No.. sometimes.. treatint ppl too good will not be a good move.. in fact.. you'll be the one asking for trouble. why take all trouble to help ppl? to make ppl happy? they will think u r jus a clown. or a piece of tissue paper. when they need u.. they beg u.. when they are comfort with what they have.. they will not see u..
efforts. they say efforts pay.. but that is mere fantasy. no matter how many bruises u get.. how croak ur voice get bcoz of practising.. how pain ur fingers are as u is an idiot practising guitar.. how hurts is ur muscle and body.. how dirty is ur shirt.. you never get ur efforts pay back.. bcoz u r jus not gd enough.. accept the fate. JACQUEZ!! YOU"RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH..!!
no wonder ppl says medic is stressful. indeed.. if i could. i would like to get a bath now and satart studying. donwan to go to the welcoming night. donwan to act in musical drama.. donwan to do anything. but stay in my room and study. and do things i like..