schoolmate captain ronaldo roommate bb baka tionk jo shi fu py ly tun..

i lost..

and i lost my dignity..


and i lost myself too..

i lost my confidence..

i lost everything i'd inside me..

i was smack by a huge blow..
which was a reality check to me.
that i'm just a normal person..
not anyone great..
then you stood up
to console me..
and tell me how great i'm..
the story goes on
and the life goes on..
then you came calling..
keep on shouting 183!!non stop..
everytime u saw me and those ppl together..
you will shout 183. 183..
who will ever predict at that time..
that one day u will become a member of 183
??
and indeed..
you became 183
and we called one eight three..
because of u..
then in a special afternoon..
i remember it is a monday afternoon 1pm.. as that is the only time all of us has free period.
6 of us gathered..
in the library..
and this historic moment happened..
183 was founded.. it was 14 june 2007..
time flies.. and came pesta tanglung..
i was blinded by something that blind my eyes cover my senses and numb my heart..
our friendship almost in jeopardy..
indeed.. it is in great danger of vanishing..
i kept on ignoring ur sms..
and ur presence became invisible to me..
i kept on forget u..
i didn't know i was doing that..
but truth proof that i was doing that at that time..
and u stepped forward..
in the toilet under the biology unit..
you told me.. even u think that i was blinded and forget the friendship that was built..
i was sorry..
luckily you did not did not forgive me..
and slowly..
we coloured our friendship once again..
in a mishap..
we boarded a bus later than anyone else home..
and together
we waited..
together...
we ate in the bus..
together..
we went to klcc..
together we exchanged christmas present.. excluding jacquez..
together.. we did alot of things..
eat yee mee..
played badminton..
went outing..
but ..
did u notice something..
everytime a programme was set up..
it turned out to be everyone leaving with sour face..
or a dull look...
mayb it is our fault..
mayb it is my fault too..
everytime thinking my planning was great
but never think of other's view and perception..
i am too selfish..
i am too big headed..
i'm too useless..

it is a blessing.. to have you as my roommate.. the 1st time 2 stupid baby went outing in malacca central...
the 1st time we get attacked by all chinese..
the 1st time we meet our sisters..
the 1st time we meet godfather gang
the 1st time we hear loud footsteps and knew who he is..
the 1st time we went outing
the 1st time we celebrated her bd
the 1st time we shed tears.
the 1st time we won EINSTEIN
the 1st time we say hi and bye to CHEDMED..
the 1st time we kicked football
the 1st time we kicked futsall
the 1st time we ate GREEN bean soup
the the 1st time we ate steamboat..
and lots of lots of 1st time with frank rachel lady god yn n c...

not forgetting..
our 1st operation..
kinda funny..
we never went operation in full force more than once
everytime someone was busy'
but i rmb..
the whiteboard was the best
then the mirror..
till now we were scolding those mirror robbers..haha
and the lights.. we fix it our self..
the tables..
the chairs..
our base..
our 183 base..
such a legacy..
do u still rmb?
very early on..
i was sad by love..
and u too..
2 of us went walking down the streets
in the middle of night..
u told ur stories
and i told mine..
and u took my pic in toilet too..
that time we were so close..
hope now we are also that close..
and in another case..
we were sleeping together..
5 of us...
and u and i never slept that night
we stole bbsb hp
and called many ppl...
and they really can't recognize us..
such a trick..
we had quarelled before..
the greatest was in 29 of march
u pushed me so hard
and bang the door
i cried ..
tears flow
and heart broken...
the dustbin was overturned..
debries everywhere...
we fight..
till whole block knew it..
just for our ronaldo ...
we played footsal
under the rain..
we were so cold
and afraid of getting sick
but ur words gave me courage
u said..
keep urself warm and u will not get cold..
we kicked for a long time..
then came the horn ..
so loud..
we ran..
in kmm..
we ran many times..
from pak guard..and my fello..
i still remember..
one night i was deeply depressed..
until i did not utter a word..
u left a note for me..
asking me to be strong..
thx..
we lied on the same bed.. sharing our thoughts..
bout ur heart n my heart..
ur princess n my green bean..
and u kept on laugh at me..
and i joked on you too..
you challenged me and i did the same thing to u..
i vowed to fullfill my word if she is same uni with me..
it turned out she is same with me.
how can i eat my words now?
we went to tutor together..
bus station together..
sent them home together..
but..sad case..

once .. u got into my dk.. maths.. and sit beside me
to attend class with me..
that was so fun..
so nice..
we shared sweets.
and words too..

we had gone through many things..
everytime i have nice food..
i sure give u..
share with u..
ok not everytime but almost everytime i can..
secret recipe cake.. kuih muih.. tit bits.. choc..sweets.. noodles.. chicken skin.. pasar malam food..
i shared with u..
but i knew got one thing i never get it right..
it is when i had meal with u..
i always afraid of ppl's weird eyesight..
and sit far away from u.
walk fast fast to be far apart from u..
i knew i hurt u much..
there is one time when u holding a stick of fish ball wanting to feed me..
but my fear eyesight forced u not to do that..
i'm sorry..
everytime u called me for food
i also agreed..
but turned out we quarrelled..
because of my idiot thinking..
i'm sorry..
i've never treat u welll..
even when i was granted the chance..
i ignored u
treat u like a robot
a talking machine
without feeling..
i'm sorry..
i can help but i just can't forgive myself..
now that the chance had gone..
i've no more chance..
there are no remorse in kmm..
except for what i did on you..
everything was so perfect there
that even we have to separate i'd no qualms..
183 had the best memories.. 4 bro sis had it too.. roommate and i too... and myself n flowers too.

all sweet memories to be saved inside my memory..
but not ours..
our memory are bitter.. and a scar was there..
i'd never appreciated our friendship well bcoz of my selfishness..

a cycle has concluded with qh ms n 183 birthday party.. we managed to celebrate all birthday.. except yours.. i'm sorry i didn't set it up.. but the timing was wrong. i'm sorry too.. but. how many parties ended with joy and laughter.. i guessed the only one was the one i'm not involved in setting it up...> my birthday..

what an irony...

maybe we will not meet again in future..
maybe we will eventually part further..
but history was created..
and will be sealed in our memories..
some place.. somewhere..
one day.. it will appear again..
it is just a matter of time..


i'd never regret to meet u.. but u'd regret to meet me..

good luck...